Archive | September, 2010

As I Lie Awake in Bed.

27 Sep

Something occurred to me last night as I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. I realized that here at university, nobody calls me “Jazz”. They all call me “Jasmine”. This fact on it’s own is as unremarkable as they come, but it’s implications make it downright terrifying.

You see, in elementary school, I generally went by “Jazzy” sometimes “Jazz” or “Jasmine” but usually “Jazzy”. By high school most people called me “Jazz”. “Jasmine” seems so formal, so grown up. I like my name, but I’m used to it being shortened. There’s a part of me (the rational part) that says “Calm down, it’s just that people don’t yet know you well enough to call you by a short form. Sooner or later you’ll be “Jazz” again.” But there’s another part of me that thinks this could be the end of the Jazz era. Theres more to a name then the number of syllables it contains. Using my full name is such a grown up thing to do. And that’s the part that scares me. I don’t want to be a grown up! I don’t want to pay bills and worry about cholesterol and wear sensible shoes! I want to be young! I want to learn things and make mistakes, and fall in love, and get messy, and sing loud and be adventurous! It’s such a little thing, but it brings such big things to mind, and those big things scare me.

I do want to grow up. Just not yet.



23 Sep

Don’t forget to smile. You never know who might be falling in love with it.


22 Sep

prayer requests for Me(g)

So I am already exhausted and it’s been what only 2 weeks? I have so many readings to do, and because I work 20 hours or more, I either have no time to do the readings, or when I do have time i am just way to tired to get any good work done.

So therefore,

1) I need prayer to be able to organize my time properly and not feel overwhelmed.

2) I want to be able to meet and make some good friendships. It’s hard when you live off campus to be able to really force yourself to meet people. Also especially because I have like no free time to hang out with anyone anyways.

3) So I guess another one to go off of that would be the fact that I am feeling kind of relationally empty. I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with the people that make me feel alive, happy, blessed etc.

I sound so depressing.

I guess when I don’t get much sleep, it’s hard to be positive and have enough energy to really realize that I am blessed and feel that connection with God – the only thing that satisfies my soul.

so 4) That i would be able to find time to do the one thing that really matters, connect myself with God.

Thanks ladies.

Prayer Requests

21 Sep

I thought of two.

-Productivity (I have so much reading to do!)

-Choosing a “Cornerstone replacement” (there are lots of Christian clubs here, and I’m trying to find one that would be a good fit for me)

Rest in Him

19 Sep

so here we are. In our first weekend of being in this crazy invention called University. It’s pretty surreal, and I have found myself having weird deja vu’s of when I was a child, and I could almost remember what it was like to be there, then. When that happens and I soon realize that I am walking around on campus big and tall with 18 years on me. I can’t really believe it.

When I think about all of this too much I get a weird, almost regretful ache in my stomach. I think Mik knows what I mean, we kind of talked about this. But I guess this just happens when I have silly worries like maybe I won’t meet any cool people, or be able to make lasting relationships like how I should be, like how everyone says will happen.

But in reality, I have found the following truth in my life. As long as I am walking with God and I am in connection with him, at rest in his holiness, I am okay, I am living THE life. He is my best friend, he is my everything, I would be absolutly nothing without him. And choosing to realize this and walk with this, and letting this resonate in my mind during the day makes all the anxieties disapear.

I was created to know God, learn about God, love God, praise God, give glory to God. If I can do this, I am set and I am living THE life. And I know that God knows the innermost parts of my being, he knows my needs, my desires, what’s best for me. and I will trust in his provision and know that I am blessed.

I’ve loved hearing about your experiences Jasmine, and I can’t wait to hear more!

Thank you both for being in my life.

An idea, would you two want to post prayer requests on here? Then we can pray for each other and be able to be accountable of each other.

Just an idea!



Sitting Here.

13 Sep

I can hear the wind softly brushing it’s lips against the leaves of the trees. I can feel the sun on my skin and this bench beneath me. I look around me and I see the courtyard of St. Jerome’s Residence. Two other students sit at a picnic table with their backpacks, while another enjoys the shady grass under a maple tree. I sit, in the gazebo in the corner, observing the others. It is a beautiful late summer day.

I’ve met so many people this week, some whose name’s I remember, many whose names I don’t! I already feel like I’ve made some lifelong friends. My roommate is a lot of fun and we get a long really well. The other day we sat in our room for at least an hour watching parkour videos on youtube. Then we went outside and (without any feelings of embarrassment) proceeded to “parkour” across campus. We have resolved to take fencing, swing dancing and (of course) join the parkour club. I’ve also met a guy named Patrick. He also loves acting and lives in St. Jeromes. Earlier in the week there was a talent show for the arts faculty. Five minutes before it started he told me that he was going to sign us up as an act. So, with literally no preparation, Patrick, Miranda, Dan and myself went up in front of the entire arts faculty and performed a short skit (100% improv!). Last night, there was a coffee house for students living in St. Jeromes. At dinner I joked that Patrick was going to sign us up for another skit -so of course he did. This time we had more preperation and smaller audience but just as much fun.

I have no classes today so I’ve just been enjoying the best parts of on campus life; free food, no studying, just chilling with some of the girls on my floor and enjoying such a beautiful day! I love you both and I can’t wait to hear all about Kings! I’m sure you have some great stories!

“My cheeks red like fire engines racing

Straight to the heat of your skin

I know our days are numbered early bird of the summer

You’ll fly south just as the fall begins

The fields where we wandered were golden

Now only muddy my boots

Now I know I should recover, you’re a bird of the summer

I was wrong to try and capture you”

-Bird of the Summer, A Fine Frenzy

What, Now?

6 Sep

Tomorrow I leave.

I get in the car with my family, my clothes and my brand new bedspread and leave. Sure, I’ll be back home in two weeks to celebrate my birthday, but the day has finally come where I’m moving out of my parents’ house. In a thousand ways this is exciting. In a thousand ways this is new and different and good and great. But at the same time I’m looking around, wondering where the time’s gone thinking “What, now?” This day has always seemed distant. A distant point on the horizon that I’ve been steadily paddling towards. ¬†All of the sudden it’s rushed right up to meet me. As excited and hopeful I am for these coming years, I am determined to hold on the past relationships. Not all of them, just the ones that really matter. So I’ll be on here, reading your posts and writing my own. And with a little effort, I know the three of us will be able to use this to feel like we’re together even when we’re not.

Love Always and Good Luck in your first week!


(P.S. I was thinking we could each write in a different colour? Dibs green!)