Archive | October, 2010

Tonight I Will Be Playing the Role of: Lonely Fat Girl.

27 Oct

This is not part of my ‘catching up’. I will have to continue that a little later because tonight I have… other plans.

It’s rainy in Waterloo. Not the “exciting thunderstorm” kind of rain, but the dull, drizzly, makes-you-want-to-curl-up-in-bed-and-never-get-up kind of rainy. That and the fact that midterms are finally over means I am going to allow myself to indulge in a totally pathetic level of pigging out and doing nothing. I’ve got the comfy sweatpants on, the family size bag of all-dressed Ruffles, the king size Oh Henry and a ridiculous number of chick flicks. This is beyond “movie night with the girls”, it’s beyond “curl up with a good book, a cup of tea and don’t answer the phone”, this is even beyond “I just broke up with my longtime boyfriend and I never want to look at another man again”. This truly disgusting, and I cannot wait to get started. I don’t plan on getting up for anything other than food or the bathroom. I don’t plan on consuming anything that isn’t mostly made of sugar, salt or oil. I don’t even plan on brushing my teeth tonight.

World: prepare to be shunned.

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Let’s Go Back in Time.

24 Oct

I gave this post the title I did for two reasons. 1) the event that inspired it happened over two weeks ago and 2) I felt like I was going back in time when it happened. What was this event you ask? Why, commencement of course!

My mom picked me up from Waterloo the moment my last class of the day ended and sped me home. I raced up the stairs to my room and barely had time to glance at the bed I’ve barely slept in for these last four months before I was back in the car dressed and doing my makeup on route. My mom dropped me off at the familiar front doors where I headed for the PAC thinking to myself “Late for school as always -what’s changed?” I passed faces I’d seen a thousand times before and got in line to receive my gown. Who did I see there but the fabulous Mikaelee?

It was as I lined up with my old classmates that I thought to myself for the second time that day, “What’s changed?”. Here we are in our red gowns to celebrate the end of high school. We’re supposed to have grown up and moved on. We’ve moved out of our parents houses and up in the world. So why are there no signs of change? Why do we still grudgingly follow the directions of the teachers, like a herd of cattle? These people are no longer authority figures and yet we fall so easily back into the old habits of high school! In spite of orders to line up alphabetically we gravitate to the ones we were friends with before. The potheads showed up stoned, the obnoxious talked through the ceremony and the dumb wore their caps backwards. Has ANYTHING changed?

It wasn’t all bad. It was so great to see the people I’ve been missing, if only for a few minutes. But I felt like University was just a long and vivid dream. As if I was showing up for school after a particularly good night’s sleep -not a quarter of a year’s absence. It was a bittersweet evening. One full of hugs and group photos. One of hurried updates and the exchanging of phone numbers. It was lovely to see you both, however it was a lot like being given a single potato chip and then being forced to stare at the rest of the bag without eating any more. Much love!

Go, go, go!

21 Oct

The last two weeks have been all go, go, go! Being so busy has given me lots blogging topics, but not a whole lot of blogging time. I’m hoping to catch up on some of these in the next couple of days. I feel like there’s lots to tell you about! Mostly just little things, but they’re the little things that happen to be shaping my life at the moment so I feel like they’re important to share. I love you lots and I hope midterms aren’t making you too crazy!

My God is my Rock

5 Oct

So i went to narnia for the first time since the summer yesterday and sat on my thinking rock.

As I walked there though, something felt different. I realized I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I had been here many times before with friends and family, but the familiarity was like an old dream…. Or perhaps I am in the dream now?

I got to my rock, took out my earbuds, and looked around me. At first I thought, wow nothing has changed. Birds sang around me, dragonflies and bees danced on the rock beside me (and sometimes on me, which freaked me out). It was like walking into a photograph, or back in time. I thought, I am jealous of these plants and trees that never change and stay so sure of themselves.

But then I realized, things had changed. and it wasn’t just how i felt. There were new blossoms on plants that were once green, the leaves were aging and colouring, and some plants were already blackening from the cold and changing season.

Plants DO change, some grow blossoms or thorns, some change colour, some wither away. But does that change make the plant less of a plant, less of who or what it is? No, I would say it could be defined by that change, that it is what it is because it changes, and that it remains despite all the change. And the fact that Narnia was still Narnia, that even though these changes were occurring, it had still felt like it once did.

I know now that changes will happen but I also know that I don’t want to be defined by those changes that are going on around me. I want to stay sure, and stay rooted, and stay the person that I was created to be despite the cold breezes or snow. And then if I change colours, or grow flowers, I know that it is good because I am rooted in God who gives true life and He won’t allow the changes to wither me away.

It’s so easy to feel that you are defined by your circumstances – by friends, family, sickness, new school, new city, wealth, poverty etc. And I have seen that I have often, okay pretty much all the time, looked to friends or family to give me value… but I now know that the bees that may have relation with the flower, don’t define the flower, it’s where the flower is rooted and is growing that matters. Wherever I may go, I need to see that the places that I find myself in don’t make me who I am, but rather I am who I am because God gives me life.

“My God is my rock and my refuge.” 2 Samuel 22:3


My Playlist

3 Oct

Hey girls! Here are just a few of the songs that I’ve been listening to lately.

  • “Bad” Darrelle London
  • “The Girl” City and Colour
  • “Almost Lover” A Fine Frenzy
  • “Bird of the Summer” A Fine Frenzy
  • “Neapolitan Dreams” Lisa Mitchell
  • “Clean White Love” Lisa Mitchell
  • “Coin Laundry” Lisa Mitchell
  • “Foundations” Kate Nash

It’s been a beautiful fall day here in Waterloo. Cold, but lovely. I’m (finally!) beginning to get into a good grove and figuring out how to balance work and play. I’m also in the process of picking my courses for next term. I know I’ll change my mind a thousand times but I think I’m already getting a better idea of what direction I want to take my studies in. What about you two? When do you make course selections? Do see much of each other at Kings? Much Love!

(P.S. I’ve been looking into the Christian clubs here -there are so many!, and I think I’ve found a few that I’m going to check out. I can’t wait to find my ‘perfect fit’!)